SIDE SHOW

I've got a side show
in my head
they're not freaks
in the circus tent

I see a wild geek in a tent
Johnny Eke's in a suit
There's a pinhead in a frock
A fat lady eating fairy floss
And a giant in a caravan
And an alligator eating sand

Guess I've got a side show
in my head
There not freaks
in the circus tent

I see a drunk ape doing the trapeze
and a jar full of circus fleas
A tattooed man eating bees
A bearded lady singing on her knees
A pregnant sword swallower having sex
Sprookers handing out the cheques

Guess I've got a side show
in my head
There not freaks
in the circus tent





SMELLY THE CLOWN

Smelly the clown went to town... couldn't find
the circus because he used the map for his last crap
His shoes were so big he tripped and rolled in the dirt...
and unfortunately ripped his colourful shirt
Finally he could see the tent... but walked the wrong
direction because he was so bent... fell into a hole
and started talking to a mole

For his name was Smelly the Clown and he came from outta town
He took a lot of ecstasy and couldn't calm down

But the Circus of Filth maybe could employ him
Why not go and ask make a try out or something
Ripped to the eye balls blind folded he walks the tight rope
Ring master says "Juggle that soap don't be a dope"
"Or hang yourself with a chair and a rope for a joke"
"What's the matter panther got you tongue ?"
"Then you better scoop up the elephants dung"

For his name was Smelly the Clown and he came from outta town
He took a lot of ecstasy and couldn't calm down

Your friends will be dwarfs of course including the fat lady on the porch
The clown became sad and lit up a fag breathed in... then got mad
Suddenly Smelly threw a tent peg in the air and gave the ugly man
the best piercing of the fair... got a round of applause of course
Throw this knife at my wife... set yourself on fire and run for you life
Crucify a chicken and give the geek a lickin
Shoot your self off in a cannon so we can see sparks come from your bottom
Muscle man was scared of a mouse then lifted up a great big house

For his name was Smelly the Clown and he came from outta town
He took a lot of ecstasy and couldn't calm down

It was the Magicians turn to do the dishes and turned the bubbles into fishes
Transvestite girl smoked at the table while blowing a smoke ring out
of her operation... and caused a sensation
Tattooed man drank invisible ink then pissed his drawings down the sink
Now the guy eating glass has blood dripping from his arse
Ring master said "Go to bed or you'll end up dead in the shed with
the faceless skinhead"

The crowd didn't want any more... puked and thought it was a total bore
Suddenly the tent fell down and smelly the clown was never to be found
But Smelly the clown went back to his caravan did a fart as the sun went down
For his name is Smelly the Clown and he came from outta town
Took a lot of ecstasy and couldn't calm down





BITCHES BOOTS

I'm licking at those black vinyl boots again
Just like some skinless lizard sun backing on a fur coat
I can feel the shiny surface romancing my tongue
Eyelashes flicker into a dream state
Juices flow below... it's a private show
Faster and faster like a pussy cat I claw the floor wanting more
I lick like a leper in a diaper....
Up and down I squirm on the ground
Outside wolves sniff and growl behind the red curtain
Howling behind a window stuck out in the cold the moon light glows

Those bitches boots have come to town
There gonna drive me into the ground

My tail grows longer and my licking stronger
Up to the light I desperately like my way to the top
I can see a mirror reflecting my tongue like a leech
Fuck the bitch has two heads she screams... Keep on licking!
As I continue to suck and lick the bitches black vinyl boots
Angry wolves appear and rip off the diaper...
I then run like a scared bastard into the forest
I trip over and massage the ground panting and wreathing
Like some mother fucker bleeding
The wolves start digging and I start giggling

Those bitches boots have come to town
There gonna drive me into the ground





DIRTY PUNK

I want to shoot your spunk
You dirty punk

Your skull has nothing inside... nothing
My black snot can fill the spot and smooth over the rot
Its time to fake the wake don't sneer look sincere
Go ahead burn your clothes while I pose with a rose
Run away and hide in the fog or jerk of with a frog
You stupid wanker you'll end up driving a B.P. tanker
Swallow that black sand and sun bake on a garbage can
Her gorgeous corpse stinks in the salt wind off shore
Feathers stick to her bikini and seagulls peck her fanny
We run on the sand and remember the damned
Faster as we hold hands and cry out to the sky
Waves loop under the sea and the weeds scream redeem
Her ring drops of the finger of love into a crabs claw
Cook and dribble in the middle of a sand castle
Collect the bones and the remains of the insane
Share our underwear or maybe throw up on a chair
Its no good but we can release the kiss of misery
My mind is loaded so don't take a photo
Cause I'm a loaded weasel covered in diesel

I want to shoot your spunk
You dirty punk.





YANK TANK

Yeah fat yank tanks driven fast
It's a fucking big shonkie business...down right hard

Smokes a cigar..fills up with petrol as he thinks out loud
His lips dribble into a double beef burger
He's a wheeler he's a dealer... see you in debit town
'Where is the next big rip off... the next...
big sucker or mother fucker?'
Slams the door... puts out his cigar... tears off into the arid
Arizona desert... dollar signs appear in his evil eyes
Dead cows head waits... till he disappears into the sunset

Yeah fat yank tanks driven fast
It's a fucking big shonkie business... down right hard

Oil rig goes up and down
Rich wheels go round and round
Big bull horns extend and point at the road
Fat lead foot tromps down the gas pedal
Caddie purrs like a kitten... across the harsh cowboy desert
Big fat cactus grows on the dry plain... sharp needles in array
Looks like big daddies double chin slobbering and laughing
Turns a huge corner... checks into a sleazy hotel...
Puts on a dirty movie

Yeah fat yank tanks driven fast
It's a fucking' big shonkie business... down right hard

Yeah fat yank tanks driven fast
It's a fucking big shonkie business... down right hard





FERRIS WHEEL

Sex... horror... screams in a tunnel
Watch the girl eat spiders... from a funnel

A carousel creep works on a merry go round
He'll pick your pockets and sneak around
Evil deeds are facing you
With a bit of luck you've sniffed glue

Getting lost in the mirror maze
Your breasts are heaving... I'm so amazed
The unborn thing rides the Ferris wheel
As the flesh eater speaks to a seal
Shoot a target win a fluffy toy
Oh so... you fancy that boy!

Sex... horror screams... in a tunnel
Watch the girl eat spiders... from a funnel

I saw a midget in the nude...
Screwing a fat lady with some lube
Then low and behold
As the red carpets is unrolled...
It's the mother who shocks the world
with her secret baby
A one eyed five legged double headed monster
Watch him grow up.... before you throw up!
It's looking at you... It's looking at you
Run away from the Ferris wheel... before I make you squeal.

Sex... horror screams... in a tunnel
Watch the girl eat spiders... from a funnel





ROCKER

I'm a ranting... greasy rocker...
and wearing wild leather

A seducer and a shocker
A teaser and a reveler
Sweating and swearing
Also ruthless and daring

I'm a ranting... greasy rocker...
and wearing wild leather

Looking like a raven
Disillusioned and unshaven
Sleeping on the pavement
Wearing... the face of death

I'm a ranting... greasy rocker...
and wearing wild leather

Dark sunglasses protect my eyes
Into the night I crawl blind
Unfit for sport or fresh air
I look for you underwear

I'm a ranting...greasy rocker...
and wearing wild leather

Like an insect in the moon light
I look for a knife fight
I drink and I stink
And look like the missing link

I'm a ranting... greasy rocker...
and wearing wild leather





DARK HORSE

Well... I'm a dark horse... and so are you of course
So why not have... sexual intercourse?

Teeth bite the bit and saliva drips as the head turns
Lustful eyes look side ways... huge and beautiful...
their looking at you
Saddle is hot... smells of pussy as spurs dig in deep into the belly
Tail flickers away the flies... into the hot night we ride

Well... I'm a dark horse... and so are you of course
So why not have... sexual intercourse?

Horse shoes making sparks in the dark... repaired by a black smith
Chewing on the bit give your tail the flick... gallop, trot, canter
Hooves clicking... tails swinging low... looking like a bitch in the saddle
Red fox hunting jacket looks good with lingerie... jump over the hay
Black stallion waits for the storm... lightning breaks the trees

Well... I'm a dark horse... and so are you of course
So why not have... sexual intercourse?

Stock whip cracks once around the forest... we go
we scare some sly fox
Buttocks pulsate high in the saddle... she startles the cattle
Rabbits run to their holes and are caught dead in metal traps
Horse heads for a tree and takes a massive pee...
Animal turns... licks your face... you fall into the dark weeds
Finally we make beastly love in a deep green trees.

Well... I'm a dark horse... and so are you of course
So why not have... sexual intercourse.
Love Sickness

Let the devil tighten your corset
Tighter and tighter don't force it
Your shiny shoes kick over the booze
That look on your ass makes me want to drool
My spit on your clit wants to make me shit
Kiss and kiss and piss and piss

As your mystery meat doesn't miss a beat
Thank you mistress... you've cured my love sickness

Your cave of flesh is locked without a key
Without a toilet you cannot pee
Your cat mask hides your red eyes
Your fat love tastes like snake pie
My horns are ready to break the chains
The red lights blown show no restrain
Now the dark feels like a shark

As your mystery meat doesn't miss a beat
Thank you mistress you've cured my love sickness

Your long boots are full of lace
And lip stick smeared all over your face
You tied and tied my arms and legs
Now it's time to moan and beg
Your tool kits full of rubber things
Your leather couch fit for kinky kings
Breath in and out... let out a shout

As your mystery meat doesn't miss a beat
Thank you mistress you've cured my love sickness





PUSSY STAR

Oww Oww Oww Ow Ohh
Pussy star wants double penetration
says... it's quiet a sensation

I watch you moan... and groan
See your buttocks... put on a show
Makes you breath... quiver and... shiver... oh...

Like a sexual operation!
Wow a glorious syncopation!
Your posture cramped and so bizarre
Like colliding with a back end of a car!
Your eyes shone like diamonds
With that twinkle... you've turned into... a...

Pussy star wants double penetration
says... it's quiet a sensation



Strange stories by Ewan Cameron

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